All I wanted was you
by his adrenaline rush
Summary: Bella is completely in love with her best friend Jacob Black but after he hurts her one to many times she finally gives up at ever being with him. In her darkest hours Edward Cullen comes into her life and flips it upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**Alone.**

All was dark and quiet. No movement to hear but the groans from the old house as the wind whipped outside my window. I watched the tree sway in fury with the winds, dancing, not wanting to give in but knowing it was no use. Although the tree was strong and healthy it gave in like a little child to sleep. My eyes burned but I had nothing left to give, like it mattered to him anyway. I had cried enough to know it would go unnoticed, I would go unnoticed. Torn by decisions I had to make I knew it would kill me either way. Shutting out the world I crawled deep inside the covers of my cold bed and wished for it to just end. His face came to my mind and I tried to suppress my cries into the pillow that smelled like him. It was my fault I cared, my fault I loved him and my fault that I could do nothing but keep coming back for more pain. Wishing for it all to end I lay there until the room changed from black to gray and I knew once again it was morning another day to pull myself out of bed, dress, and pretend like I was alright.

No amount of cover up could hide the dark circles under my eyes. What I needed was sleep but it just never came for me, it must have forgotten about me as well. I did what I could and brushed my hair sighing as I walked down the stairs. Just another day of school, another morning of bland cereal and a long quiet drive into town. Charlie was already gone probably because he hated seeing me like this. I had my good streaks and plenty of bad ones as well. I wasn't sure right now which outweighed the other but if I could find out I would. This week was a bad one plain and simple. Shuffling out to my ancient but reliable Chevy I noticed something stuck under my windshield wiper. Hope filled my every fiber of being wishing it was a note from him. I hated myself for how he made me feel how badly I needed any slight attention from him. Every brain cell I had screamed for me to run away, forget it all and forget him, the hole in my chest where sometimes my heart was screamed at the same time to read it. My unsteady hands removed and unfolded the half saturated paper. I smiled gratefully it was from him.

_Bella,_

_I missed you last night, sorry you couldn't come. It would mean a lot to me if tonight we could get together, my place, 7......call me._

_Jake_

It was absolutely ridiculous he could control me like this and yet it didn't matter. He needed me to see him tonight, he missed me last night. Obviously enough if he drove all the way out here to put a note under my window, the reservation was a good distance away. I pressed the note to my heart that started to beat again and climbed inside my truck. My face felt funny to me, foreign. I looked in the mirror and took note that I was smiling...so that's what it felt like, I had almost forgot. The engine roared to life and I took off down the road wishing there would be some freak reason the school was closed so I could run to Jake's earlier than expected.

Part of me was ecstatic to see him and the other was crumbling. Now I was good enough to see? It was just a stupid beach party like he couldn't leave early to come see me or skip it all together and just spend the night at my house? The inner battle would no doubt take me in the end. I hated myself but loved to see him. We were great friends but it just killed me to know there were only certain times I was good enough.

School passed by in a blur there were too many thoughts in my head to process class. There were 15 minutes left until the day was done, this was when it dragged the most. I sat impatiently in my seat bouncing my knee wishing I could speed things up. Each second that ticked by stung a little knowing it was this much longer until the bell would ring dismissing us for the day. It was always a race to get out the door and away from the hell we all called school but I had no problems being one of the first out the parking lot. I pushed my truck to the limits as much as I could 55 was all it could hold but I think it reached 57 once. Screeching into the driveway I left everything in the truck and bounded up the stairs two by two. Now was the waiting game. If I called him too soon he would know that I wanted to see him without a doubt. On the other hand if I waited a while he would know that I have things to do but would make time to see him if possible. I didn't want to come off as obsessed and insecure so I decided to make dinner for Charlie and leave it in the fridge. He could handle reheating a chicken breast in the microwave I had at least showed him that before. Just to be safe I will leave him instructions in the note I wouldn't want to come home tonight to a crisp house because he didn't remember what to do.

* * *

I glanced at the clock 5:30 now should be an appropriate time. Nervously I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers I had memorized by heart. The ring seemed as long as the national anthem and I almost hung up but then I heard his voice.

"Hello."

"Is Jake there?...." I gulped down my nervousness once again and reminded myself to breathe.

"This is."

"Oh hey Jake...it's Bella." _I'm such an idiot_

"Bella! Hey it's great to hear your voice. I was afraid you weren't gonna call." I couldn't help but smile; he had that effect on me. I wanted to pour my heart out into the phone receiver and tell him how I felt inside...I held back and decided to play it cool.

"Yeah you're lucky actually the note was pretty damaged all I was able to decipher was 7 and Jake...I figured I should call and see what's up."

"Well I'm glad you called me. I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie....since we couldn't hang out last night. It's not like you missed out on a lot we just sat around the fire...ah Bella I'm so glad you called." I looked at the phone and mouthed out an '_I love you'! _

"Sure a movie sounds good...what time should I come over? Is that what the 7 was for?"

"Yeah but if you want you can come over now......"

_This is where you say yes you idiot! _All I could do was stand there dumbfounded.

"Bella?........Bella?"

"Yeah I can come over now...sorry Charlie just walked in the door...." I backed away from the phone a little. "Yeah Dad I'll be off in a second."

"I'm sorry about that Jake but yeah that sounds good I'll be over in a few."

"Great can't wait to see you."

"Likewise....OK...ah bye."

I hung up the phone with a slam not meaning to. Looking down at myself I realized I actually looked pretty good. Checking myself in the mirror by the door I agreed once again it was good enough to see Jacob. I grinned from ear to ear and set out down the road, tonight was gonna be perfect!

* * *

Hello All! Please read and review about the story. How do you like it so far? What could be changed or needs more strength? Please let me know thanks -

Chels


	2. Chapter 2

The reservation was always welcoming and I was relieved when I started to enter the outskirts of the town. Jake's little red house didn't stick out like a sore thumb but instead complemented the rest. I cautiously pulled in the driveway unsure of myself. I examined myself in the mirror and began to find every little thing wrong with me. I could have done more with myself, taken a few minutes to brush out my hair better and put a little eye liner on but I wanted badly to get here. I glanced up and noticed Jake standing on the porch watching me. Blushing I got out of the truck and walked towards him. It felt like I was being drawn to him but I could feel my feet underneath me very unsteady.

"Hey Bella!" Jake smiled as he pulled me into one of his famous hugs. Here was where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life. There were no doubts in my mind about that. He smelled so good and it was nice to feel his warm and strong embrace around me…. Lost…..I was getting lost again in him and there was no way for me to turn around, not like I wanted to. I knew it was bad for me just like eating too much candy. It always feels good to indulge in the beginning and you feel like you always need more but in the end you are sick to your stomach and regretting everything.

"Hi." Was all I could mutter into his shoulder as he squeezed me tighter. Was I reading into this too much? Did he not want to let me go or was he just being friendly? I was hoping it was the first idea and not the second. I wanted it to be the first, needed it to be. I was secretly in love with my best friend and all I could do was hope he felt the same way about me.

Jake and I had been friends ever since I was little. Charlie had been friends with Billy he seemed to be Charlie's one true friend and in return I found a friend in his son Jacob. I only saw Jake once every summer when I had to come visit Charlie….I didn't always want to. I was not a fan of my summer visits but it made things better when I knew I would be seeing Jake. I had never felt for Jake that way in the past when we were younger.

Yeah even when I was younger I thought he was cute but he was Jake one of my best friends and a boy first and foremost…it was outlawed to like a boy who was also your friend like that. Every summer when we parted we always promised to keep in touch and we did. Every Wednesday we had our weekly calls that lasted almost all night. Anything and everything we discussed even Jake's girl problems. We even wrote letters back and forth sending pictures of our latest adventures. When I moved back this year for good and ran into Jake it was like I was hit upside the back of the head and love struck. He was gorgeous and not at all what I remembered. He had developmentally grown out of his lankly awkward stage and now was a tall muscular man.

I hadn't noticed that we had shifted from the porch to now inside the little dwelling and were sitting next to each other on the couch. He turned to face me and smiled.

"I'm so glad you came over it seems like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah I feel the same way....." I knew I had to be blushing.

"It was boring without you at the fire last night but like I said nothing good really happened. Geez how much longer until you're out of school for the summer?"

"Three more days; it sure doesn't seem that way though...." I wandered off in thought. What was I going to do with myself this whole summer? Hopefully I would be here on the reservation, lounging on the beach in La Push.

"Good…good cause there's gonna be another beach party this weekend Sam said and I wanted to know if you would come."

"Yeah I'd like that." The beach parties I'd been to were always fun even if some nights all we did was sit around. Usually there was music from someone's car and a couple drinks. Once or twice I had overindulged myself a little too much last summer and didn't remember how I even got home. Jake didn't even remember the entire night but Charlie knew nothing about it or the massive hangover I had.

Who would have guessed that the way Jake talked about tonight wouldn't happen. I had full intentions of coming over to watch a movie but that wasn't the case at all. All we actually did was talk and it was rather nice. My shyness went away after an hour or so and we just talked like to school girls about everything under the sun from Jake's dirt bike to me finishing my junior year of school. He prodded me a little about where I wanted to go to college and what for but I was still undecided. I asked him what it was like being out of school for the last week and all he could say was ' Perfect '. I knew what that meant he was able to sleep in till whenever and drink as much as he wanted.

"So....there's this girl.....I was hoping to introduce you to her she's gonna be at the party on Saturday." And there it was the usual punch in my chest. _'Why must you do this to yourself...your just friends....get that through your head.'_

"Who is she? Is she new in town?" I played it dumb. If I acted off key Jake would know something up. I couldn't act totally dumb or he would really suspect something but as long as I played it off enough he would just think I was not paying attention although I was all ears on this one.

"Her name is Missy. We go to school together. I don't know though Bella....she never caught my eye before but now....wow....she just bloomed and she is gorgeous....just gorgeous." Every word Jake put emphasis on and I could tell he was picturing her at that very moment. I felt like someone was throwing bricks at me for fun and each one hit just a little harder. I had honestly never thought of another guy when Jake was around me….well I never had the option of thinking of another guy because no one caught my eye but Jake…he was perfect for me. We'd been through this with other girls before but it never mattered to me like it did now. Jake and I have always been such good friends; he can talk to me about anything. So what was so perfect about Missy? Why couldn't Jake like me like this?

"So for sure she's coming to the party?" I knew the answer was gonna be yes who wouldn't follow Jake around...I might just have to make up an excuse not to come.

"Yeah....I really think you're going to get along with her, not like Katie." he laughed so hard I thought he was going to start crying...I wish I could cry right now. I could feel the stress building inside of me and it never failed the only thing I could do was cry.

"If you were to date another girl like Katie I swear Jake I will drag you behind my truck....she was such a user and a spoiled bitch." Even I could hear the hatred I had for her in my voice. Katie was Jake's summer romance last year. Jake was so bad that I called my Mom and begged to stay for another month because of what happened. Katie used Jake for anything she could...he waited on her hand and foot, spent what little money he had on her. He gave her everything and she cheated on him, but who picked up the pieces after Jake found out and got stumbling drunk? ME! I wanted to shake Jake and scream '_ Forget Missy! Look at what you have in front of you! Pick me!!!' _

"Bells I promise Missy is nothing like Katie you have my word." He reached over and pulled me into him. Here I sat in Jake's arms sprawled out across him on the couch and he was planning to date another girl. He started to rub my back and I relaxed deeper into his embrace. I cursed at myself and thought of every possible reason to get out of this house and never come back. It was useless. Instead I focused all my anger at Jake even though I wasn't going to tell him just how I felt. I started at the beginning of the alphabet and thought of every harsh word to call him. _'Asshole….bastard…..creep….damn idiot…..egotistical…..fucking moron…..gosh darn fool…..ok so not all of them were not so harsh and there were some I had to improvise with.'_ I was on a roll and getting good when Jake interrupted me.

"Bella......let's make a deal with each other."

"What's that?"

"If we are both not in a serious relationship by the time we are both done with college...or at 25...we get together."

The look on my face must have scared Jake because he stared at me for a long moment and then stopped breathing. I sat up and forced myself to go back into my corner of the couch.

"What do you mean? Like date?"

"Yeah I was thinking....well we both love each other.....I mean you are my best friend....wouldn't it make sense?" He was stretching and reaching for something.....was it just coming down to the fact he didn't want to be alone? I shrugged and contemplated what he was saying…..wait….did he just say we _both_ love each other?

"But why wait till we are 25?" I didn't want to wait that long. I really did love Jake more than he would ever know or comprehend. I wanted to be with him now. If I had to wait forever I would but what for if he just said he would date me….if he loved me?

"I don't want to settle down now. I want to see the world per say...party....meet other girls first. Get all my experiences done and then lock myself away."

I was pissed now. Disgusted was another good word. I was trying to sort out all of this. I was good enough to be his best friend....good enough to eventually settle down with....but not date? What did he mean by lock himself away?.....

"I don't know about this Jake...." I was very hesitant this really didn't sound like a good way to spend forever with Jake the way I wanted. Love didn't have so many restrictions on it like this did.

"It seems perfect to me. We both go out and live the way we want to. Meet others, party, have sex like crazy and then if we are not in relationships get together."

Even my heart agreed with my head this time...usually they battled each other in my decisions with Jake but this time they must have called truths to work together. _'yeah that would make perfect sense Jake....lately all that matters to you is your next screw so why the hell not. I haven't even kissed a guy yet and you've had sex with 8 different girls already.' _

"I'm not going to be having sex when I'm out there quote ' living'." I even used my hands to add the quotations as needed. His logic has just flown completely out the window. If looks could kill I would be seeing my best friend dead on his couch but instead he was laughing so violently he was shaking.

"Bella your gonna have to…..if we get together I can't be the one to take your v-card."

I was an absolute fool. I was an idiot.

"Yeah what sense would that make." Not only was I pissed and disgusted I was embarrassed and hurt.


	3. Chapter 3

Jake and I haven't really said much to each other with what happened the other night. I was still coming up with excuses as to how to get out of going to the party but I knew it would be useless. It was the fact that he would know it was an excuse and the fact that jealously had completely taken me over and I had a major compulsion to see Missy for myself. Who knows maybe she would be nice and I would somewhere inside of me like her just a little bit. The absolute truth was that I thought no one would ever be good enough for Jake.

The party went off without a hitch no rain to worry about although it was cold. It was nice to have the fire tonight it wasn't just for looks. I didn't know what to wear and after changing into my 9th outfit I decided to just go with the standard jeans and sweatshirt. The warmth of the fire soothed me but yet deep inside I was still cold. Staring into the fire I listened to everyone around me buzz in gossip. From the very edges of my peripheral vision I saw Jake and some little brunette walk up. I'm not even going to acknowledge he's here. I bent over and folded my arms around my knees. I wasn't even going to say anything about Missy in hopes he would just forget her. Jake started to walk up behind me and all I could hear was my pulse in my ears. Warmth engulfed me and the smell of cedar as I felt Jake put his coat over my shoulders.

"You look cold." He whispered in my ear his husky voice making me blush.

"Just a little…" I smiled gratefully

He sat down next to me on the log I possessed. The girl took a seat in the sand keeping her eyes on me. She looked nervous and she really should be. I could fight for Jake, I would fight. I buried myself in his jacket and hid myself from who I presumed was Missy.

"You got something to drink Bells?"

"No." I shook my head intent on playing hard to get. "I'm still cold maybe later."

On queue Jake slid over and wrapped his arms around me.

"You're still cold. Bella what am I going to do about you?"

I smiled and leaned into the comfort of his chest. _'Love me forever'_ I thought and looked at Missy. I couldn't tell if it was jealousy or envy that I was seeing in her eyes but whatever it was I knew it was going to be interesting.

"The sand is pretty cold too." She quipped up looking at Jake

"Yeah it's going to be the sand is wet. Why don't you sit on one of the logs?" He wondered with a laugh…no sympathy, huh I didn't know Jake was going to do that.

"I'd have to sit on the other side of the fire."

I groaned a little and rolled my eyes. What was she expecting to sit on his lap!?

"That's better than the wet ground isn't it?" he looked a little frustrated and she looked put off

"Jake I came to the party to be with you not sit here ignored. I'm your date and yet you are cuddled up with her." She pointed at me…..I didn't like how she said 'her'….it made me feel like a whore. Whatever…. all that matters to me is that he has his arms wrapped around me. Who is more important? That's right!

"It's just Bella." He sighed

Crushed! I was crushed in an instant. I had a big ego for about a second and a half until he wrecked it like taking a pin to a balloon.

"That doesn't matter Jake!" She stood up and brushed herself off. As much as I wanted to see her run away crying I didn't want to really hurt her in any way I was just being mean…I was jealous and seeing Jake with any other girl but me just matter of factly pissed me off. I had to give in though; she was the lucky one he picked.

"I don't want to get between you guys." I stood as well and took of Jake's jacket. I went to hand it to her as a peace offering but she just held up her hand.

"I don't want sloppy seconds but it seems that is all I would be getting anyway. And to think I wasted my time coming here."

"Come on just take the jacket I'm leaving anyways." I wasn't sloppy…..tom boyish but not sloppy…..and besides I had never even been with Jake anyways so she wouldn't be getting seconds.

"Jake I don't know what you see in that boy but if you choose her that's fine you have to live with it not me!" she turned around and ran off…so not only was I just Bella but now I was being classified as sloppy and a boy. I did not think the night was going to turn out like this.

"MISSY!" Jake called out to her but she didn't even falter. "I better go get her." And with that I watched Jake disappear off into the dark.

I was actually really shocked at what just happened but all I could do was laugh and utter a 'wow'.

"I don't know why he does this." Seth sighed

"What's that?" Seth was usually pretty quiet unless it was something important that was bothering him

"Chase other girls. He seems so crazy about you. All he does is talk about you. NO one will ask you out from the Rez cause we all know you are his girl."

I was shocked…. his girl….. Jake's girl. It sure didn't seem that way with him going after Missy. Jake's girl….I like the way that sounds. Jake came back a few minutes later defeated.

"I don't know what her problem is." Jake huffed. I really was getting tired especially after this little incident.

"I really am gonna get going I'm beat." I smiled trying to be sincere to Jake's situation handing him his jacket.

"Aww don't go because of her Bells she's just PMS'ing or something." He shrugged

"It's not that at all I'm just really tired and I'm sure Charlie is expecting me soon."

"Let me walk you to your truck then….please." Jake offered then pouted. It was about 80 yards up the beach to my truck but not being alone for the walk would be nice. The walk was total silence…I was in denial it was horrible having him walk with me I would have rather just made a quick escape out of here. I opened the door and sighed,

"I had a lot of fun tonight…..well night."

"Bella don't go." Jake yelped grabbing my arm before I jumped inside. "Stay with me tonight." Every part of me really wanted to. I had been waiting to hear this from Jake it seemed like forever.

"I really don't know Jake, Charlie really is expecting me."

"Listen your tired to be safe stay at my place. Charlie will be fine with it." I tilted my head a little wondering what Jake was thinking.

"Ok ok….you talked me into it."

"GOOD! Now move over I'm driving." He beamed like never before


	4. Chapter 4

No one was home when we pulled into the little driveway. All I could wonder was where Billy was. I took the couch as soon as we got inside and covered up with an old quit slung over the back. Considering there were only two boys that lived here the place was pretty presentable. Ah that's what the quilt was for I shook my head noting as I saw the large hole with stuffing exploding out of it. For its age the couch was pretty comfortable it seemed like the springs still had bounce in them. I settled in and brought the blanket up under my chin and closed my eyes.

"I don't think so. You are a guest you can't sleep on the couch. Go in my bed and I will sleep here."

"I'm not taking your bed from you that's just rude." I was fine here why was he so insistent?

"Bella don't make me." He warned

"What are you going to do? Tickle me?" I wasn't scared, anxious but not scared.

He bent down and scooped me up in his arms taking me to his room. Kicking his door open he threw me onto the bed. I couldn't help but laugh and a look came over Jake's face that I had never seen before. If I didn't know better I would say it was desire but I didn't want to read too much into it.

"Well if you don't want to take my bed from me the least you can do is share it." He insisted flopping down next to me. He looked amazing right now. If I had enough guts I would kiss him.

"What?" he wondered I couldn't help but look at him it was hard to take my eyes off him.

"Nothing….night." I stammered and rolled over quickly and covered up. '_Bella what have you gotten yourself into? You are in Jake's bed…sharing it with him….all you do is stutter and roll over….idiot.' _I was mentally slapping my head. I was so nervous I couldn't sleep. What if I talked in my sleep…or worse I snored…that would be so embarrassing to do in front of him. As soon as he started to fall asleep I made my mind up that I was sneaking out of the house…this is too close too soon.

I started creeping my way out of the bed…

"Bella."

I froze

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"Statement. I have to go to the bathroom." Jerking myself up I fled to the closet size bathroom and hid leaning all my weight against the door. I could hear Jake mumbling as he walked past going to the kitchen. Then I heard another voice join in on the conversation. I pressed my ear against the door straining to listen.

"Embry I can't."

"What?!? That's crazy talk man! She's here…..with you……alone! Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I can't….what if it ruins our friendship?"

"Jake, dude. She's crazy for you everyone sees it. Go for it. Stop chasing after other bitches and accept the one in front of you…..before she's gone."

"She's not a bitch….she's far from that….and Bella's not going anywhere. Embry I can't screw this up….I don't know what I'd do if I lost her."

"I'm no chick man but sooner or later she's gonna get sick of waiting and move on."

I heard the door close and I thought now was as good of a time as any to come out. Jake was just standing there watching outside. He's just not interested. I crawled back in bed and wished I'd just fall asleep.

I was at that stage in waking up where you knew it was time to get up. You could tell it was light out but you just couldn't open your eyes. I started remembering the events from the night before and paused. Jake. I was straining to listen so hard I stopped breathing. I opened my eyes and shifted to look next to me. He wasn't there….he hadn't been there at all. The sheets were the same from the night before, still tucked in and all.

I gathered my things and ventured out into the living room. There he was passed out on the hideaway bed in a mass of blankets, a few beer cans and a half full bottle of Jack Daniels. What a sweetheart he was. He didn't have to sleep out here just because I was here. The blanket started to move but the movement didn't come from Jake. I stood there curious. What the hell?!? Very gingerly I lifted the blanket up and not only saw a naked Jake but a very naked Missy. I closed my eyes and opened them up again to make sure what I was seeing was actual. It was. Tears came to my eyes they didn't even threaten me they just took it upon themselves to fall in streams down my cheeks. I shook my head in disbelief and ran out of the house down the driveway and left in a cloud of smoke.

I don't know how I made it home I barely remember the ride but somehow I did it. Thank God Charlie was already gone cause I don't know if I would have been able to face him looking the way I did. Watching myself in the rearview mirror I took in what I looked like, all the pain on my face, in my heart. I was broken.

"Never again. He's never going to hurt me again!"


	5. Chapter 5

The days came and went….so this was summer break. It sure didn't seem like it though. Anyone who thought I was a hobbit before was way off comparing to what I was like now. I didn't really do anything accept get out of bed to make Charlie meals so he didn't get on my case. I was devastated. No matter what I did I couldn't get that picture out of my mind of those two. What did I do wrong? In my head I heard Seth, Embry and Jake all over again it played on a loop. Was I not pretty enough….too fat? I just couldn't see what it could be. What made me not good enough for him? He called a couple of times, even stopped by last night. I made Charlie promise he would tell Jake I was out, I would explain it all later. Confused by what I asked of him he still follow through with my pleads, it must have been because I was his only daughter. I watched out the window as Jake left, he seemed hurt but not even close to what I felt. His hurt was a stubbed toe; I had an anvil dropped on me, no comparison.

Through the grape vine I heard of another party this Friday. Angela wants me to go with her since Eric Yorkie is going to be there and she doesn't want to be alone. I on the other hand don't want to go at all, Angela won. It's been hard making friends here since I moved in the middle of the semester and Angela has been the most welcoming. I should and would go, only for Angela; I would be no where around Jake.

I was nervous as hell and that was an understatement. The day went by way too fast and before I knew it I was standing there looking over myself in the bathroom mirror cringing thinking of what could happen tonight. My stomach was in knots and no matter what I did they only became more complex. I hated myself for letting Jake get to me this way but I was infatuated what else was there to feel. He could control me in just a single touch and it killed me a little at a time. I knew I had to get over him, I've tried. There is nothing else to do but get over him and move on but it's really not that simple.

I had in my head this perfect image of Jake and me living happily together, building a perfect relationship. I wanted that more than anything and I was sure that our families would be none the happier as well. It just wasn't going to work out; it wasn't what he wanted obviously. Well not right now at least. The whole waiting till we are 25 thing just proves that he could never grow up. If he really loved me and there was something there he wouldn't be waiting…totally not the case. I sighed looking at myself again in the mirror. If he couldn't see what he had in front of him before I was going to show him what he almost had and what he completely lost.

Angela was going to be here in 10 minutes and I was stumped as to what to wear. No doubt something that would make Jake jealous. It was warm enough out and I was gonna make Jake pay. I grabbed the tightest warn out jeans I had and my dark blue tank top. My hair looked perfect and my make up was just enough to bring out my eyes. It was the first time in a while I actually took pride in what I looked like. The ride there wasn't too quiet with Angela jabbering about Eric. I was glad she was excited and interested. I on the flip side just wanted to make Jake's night a living hell.

I was completely done with trying to make everyone happy and giving in to everyone else's wishes above and beyond my own. I did whatever I could to make Jake happy, listening to all of his stories, picking him up when he was down about another girl that didn't love him and even making sure he didn't drink himself to death. I have given so much of myself to him and nothing in return, not even the love from him I wanted most. He just didn't want to screw it up that's all he kept saying. He couldn't even come to me and tell me his feelings. Instead he crushed me and drove me away in one night. He invited me to spend the night with him and share his bed and then invited Missy over and slept with her while I was a room away.

The fire gushed and the music blared from Sam's car. There were so many people here it was unbelievable. Angela and I stuck to each other and socially talked to Jessica. I really couldn't stand Jessica but at parties it was only the right thing to do talk to everyone you knew. By my second beer I had my speech to Jacob all planned out. I was going over everything in my head…everything that he ever did….every reason he made me cry. I was just staring into the crowed when there he was. He looked amazing, just gorgeous. I had to remind myself to breathe.

"Bella….Bella!" Angela called "Don't you agree with Jess?"

I looked at Jessica and just nodded. I didn't care what she was talking about I was dumbstruck.

"Earth to Bella!" Angela screamed as she waved her hand in my face.

I sighed as he smiled

"Bella what the hell is up?" Jessica huffed

"Who is that?" I asked breathlessly. They followed my gaze.

"That's Edward Cullen the heartthrob of our school but of course you didn't notice him since you were infatuated with that Indian." Jessica hissed

'_Whatever' _I thought and rolled my eyes. How could I never have noticed someone that breathtakingly gorgeous. He looked like he stepped right off the cover of GQ. Cullen….Cullen…..he sat next to me in Bio…..how could I really be that blind?

He looked across the fire and caught me staring at him. He smiled. Edward Cullen just smiled at me.

"Don't you even think about it Bella Swan! Go obsess over Jake and leave Edward to a more suited woman!"

Was Jessica talking again?

"You're far from a woman." I scorned. I kept watching when I knew he wasn't looking but it was as if he sensed I was looking because he would look right at me and smile. I blushed. I felt my heart flutter and I wondered if I was actually starting to crush on Edward. I had not felt my heart do that since I first laid my eyes on Jake. It's been so long but it felt so good.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Jessica screamed and stormed off

"What's up with her?" I asked turning to face Angela

"Every girl at school dreams of Edward and for you to take notice and for him to smile back just kills her." Looking at Angela I noticed she started to grin then bit her lip.

"What?" she pointed behind me and as I spun around I bumped into Edward freaking Cullen himself spilling a little of his drink I apologized,

"Sorry I'll go get you some more."

"Your Bella Swan right?"

"Yeah the one and only…." He smiled again

"You just moved here didn't you?"

I nodded

"Yep the last semester, I sat by you in Biology."

"I know…I noticed. You were really quiet and shy though, you always seemed to have something on your mind."

I held up my cup. "Yeah I am shy and quiet unless I have a few of these."

The next thing I knew Angela butted in,

"She's just getting over a really bad heartbreak from Jacob Black. They didn't date or anything but everyone knew Jake liked her, childhood friends and all."

'_SHIT! SHUT UP!' _my head screamed

Edward laughed again. "I never really liked that Jacob guy anyways he's kind of arrogant."

_YES!_ I giggled and smiled. I wondered what he was thinking as he looked at me. It was like he was not only looking at me but inside me, deep in my eyes, into my soul.

"So how's about I get you another one of those and you come for a walk on the beach with me?" he asked as he pointed at my cup.

"Su….sure….I'd really like that." I choked

The next thing I knew there we were walking down the beach together and there was no awkwardness. We skipped the whole getting another drink thing and just starting walking together. Making small talk we gave each other small stories of how summer break was going and what we had plans for. College came up and we both laughed, it turns out we both haven't made any plans yet, at least I wasn't the only one.

We walked as far as the other side and decided it was best to turn around; we could barely see the fires dim glow. I was in heaven….heaven was this moment right now. I smiled at every little thing and laughed just as much. Turned out we had a few things in common like music and literature and we had a huge difference between us as well, he was rich and adopted. The Cullen family was well known in the town. Carlisle the father was a well known doctor that took the job here in this sleepy little town and that's when they moved from Alaska. All the children were actually adopted but Edward was the youngest and never really remembered much of his previous family. The more I talked to him the more the fog lifted and I remembered more and more in school of not only him but his siblings. I really didn't realize how much Jake controlled my every move and thought until this very moment as I was walking along with Edward. I stopped in my tracks and closed my eyes in defeat. I have missed so much because of Jake and I never noticed it, I couldn't believe it.

"Hey why the sad look little lady?" he questioned as he came back to me placing his hand on my shoulder reassuring like.

"It's nothing…I just realized what I've missed all this time." I saw the confusion on his face and I knew I would have to explain better than just my mundane statement.

"Angela was right about the Jake part. He really did break my heart. Long story short we've been friends since I was little, we grew up together, and our dad's are best friends. When I moved here for good I didn't know anyone besides Jake and he just took me in. I spent all my time out on the Rez and just starting crushing on him and it grew and grew. I feel like such a fool cause I thought he felt the same way for me….his friends said he did but he was dating other girls….well seeing them….and then a few weekends ago I found him with a girl…naked….it's just all too much….I'm just crushed and a total mess." I brought my hands up to my face to cover me and hide the shame from my face. I never wanted to admit it….know that I really was never going to be with Jake…it was my dream and it didn't happen.

"Hey…." Edward whispered as he slowly took my hands off my face and pulled my chin up so I could look up at him. "You are not a fool…or a mess for that matter. You are a woman that was in love with a little boy that couldn't man up and see what was in front of him."

I closed my eyes knowing that if I kept staring at him I would start to cry and that was the last thing he needed to see tonight after I just poured my heart out to him, a complete stranger he was and yet I felt like I've known him forever.

"You want to know what I see. I see the most beautiful woman alive. Someone I would like to get to know better. Would that be possible?"

"Yes." I whispered and my heart pounded so loud I thought the next county over could hear it

"Good now let's get back to that party and have a good time besides you have to be cold." He smiled as he rubbed the sides of my arms in an attempt to warm me up. Half way back he took his jacket off and put it around me. I was a total mess and yet completely upside down and floating in utter bliss from Edward. I didn't have a clue as to where this was going but I knew I wanted to find out.


	6. Chapter 6

I practically skipped all the way back up the beach and sang out my new found glory but I kept it all in besides the smile on my face. I had just found the perfect man on earth and he was right under my nose the whole time. We walked over to the fire and started talking again only we included Angela and Jessica. I would have never thought tonight would have turned out like this I had never had this much fun in….well…..I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. I had quit drinking over an hour or so and I still felt buzzed….it was an adrenalin rush.

I side stepped a little closer to Edward and I caught him grin out of the corner of my eye and he did the exact same. I stared in disbelief as to what I was feeling for Edward…how could all of these new found feelings make me feel this way in one night….6 short hours? Nothing could bring me down off of my cloud….and then my cloud evaporated. Here came Jake and Missy right up to the fire to visit with everyone else here. I must have tensed on the outside as well as inside because I saw Edward shift and catch my cold gaze at Jake. There he was laughing it up with Embry and the others on the far side of the fire and yet at the same time grinding with Missy to the music, he always was a multi-tasker.

Instinctively Edward pulled me in close and rested his arm around my shoulder while he continued talking about the Pep squad with Jessica. I could tell he wasn't too interested in the subject but at least he was being polite. There was Jake one moment grinding and acting like his normal self and the next thing I could see was a snarl on his lips from seeing me and Edward. I secretly was hoping he was choking on his beer and beating himself up but seeing me look back only made his anger grow and in retaliation he spun Missy around and laid a kiss on her. He glanced at me while kissing her and all I could react with was rolling my eyes and saluting him with the middle finger. How immature I hope she bit his tongue.

I turned my back completely towards Jake and started in on the Pep squad conversation as well. It was not the thing I was wanting to talk about at the party but there was nothing else really it was Pep squad or turning around and watching Jake. Edward interrupted the conversation by asking if anyone needed a drink because he was dry. We all shook our heads in a no and he excused himself to get a refill.

"Bella what are you doing standing here? Go get him and tell him he should stop drinking cause you need a ride home!" Jessica squealed.

"Say what?" I was totally confused as to what Jessica meant

"Go tell him you need a ride and you would appreciate it if he stopped drinking and took you home. Say something about Angela needing to take me home." Jess explained. Why was she trying to help me out all of a sudden? When did her heart warm up?

"Ahhh….ok….be right back!" I grinned and went off after him. I followed him and could do nothing but stare at his ass…and wow did it look great in those jeans. Focus Bella you need to get him to take you home!

"Hey Edward." I called out after him "Edward." He stopped once we reached his car. Without little effort he popped the truck and grabbed another beer.

"Oh hey darlin….what's up? Did you change your mind are you a little parched?" He smiled a crooked grin and I took note that I loved that look on him.

"No actually I have a favor….I was wondering if you could stop drinking cause well I need a ride home. Angela has something to do with Jessica or take her home…something…but anyway there won't be enough room in Angela's car and I was wondering if you could take me home?" I was pulling at straws but if I could pull this off I would.

"Of course not a problem." He smiled and threw the beer back in closing the trunk he leaned up against it. "When do you want to get going? You look a little tired, especially from today's events." He was sensitive to my needs and it really meant a lot. I shrugged and slowly glanced over at the parking lot seeing a new car pull in an empty space.

"Huh I wonder who that is." Edward stated. No sooner had he uttered those words we both realized who that was…the cops…three squads filed in after the first parked. Two police officers started towards us while the rest took down license plate numbers. I looked back at Edward and he reflected the fear I had felt and for sure thought I was emitting on my face.

"Good evening are you both part of the beach party?" The taller officer asked. I squinted to read his badge Stallman.

"No sir we are here to pick up one of her friends." Edward quipped he looked nervous but you couldn't hear it in his voice.

"Well you both wouldn't mind in participating in a sobriety test would you?" The shorter and fatter officer questioned with a more insinuating voice. His badge read Strobel.

"No not at all officer." Edward agreed and I closed my eyes wanting to cry. Charlie was going to completely kill me and ground me for eternity.

The shorter chubbier one….Strobel…came over to me to administer his tests. Why did I have to have him, why couldn't I have the taller one so he wasn't so close to my breath?

"I'm officer Strobel, and your name is?"

"Bella" I whispered

"Ok Bella what I would like you to do is follow the tip of my pen without moving your head from side to side." What the idiot held up was his finger and I had to do whatever I could to contain myself from laughing, did he get those two mixed up a lot? He moved from left to right once and then sighed.

"She's good Stallman." He almost seemed disappointed in the outcome. Edward was in what seemed to be a deep conversation with the other officer and then I saw him walk back over to his squad, Strobel in toe. I rushed back to Edward.

"What's going on?"

"Here take my keys." He whispered and handed them to me when the cops weren't looking. I stuffed them in my back pocket.

"He's getting out the breathalyzer I failed his finger test." Edward shook his head. The tall cop came back and I watched the short one head down with the rest of the officer clan down the beach to the unsuspected partiers.

"So is there anything you would like to admit before I give you this test?" He questioned

"He's really tired he was working hard all day, he's probably beat from the sun." I quipped

"How many hours did you work today boy?"

"12" was all Edward uttered

"Who is driving then?"

"Me." I yelped and swallowed hard to calm my nerves

"And who are you to him?" He asked taking note

"I'm his girlfriend…He came to my house a few hours ago and was sleeping, my friend Angela called and asked me to pick her up so we came down here with his car to get her." I had a problem lying all the time to others but to say I was his girlfriend was easy. I saw a smile come across Edwards face when I said those words, he seemed to have no problem with it.

"Ok well as a precaution I have to give you this test. Now you are sure there is nothing you would like to inform me of before we begin?" He glanced between the two of us and when we didn't even move he figured we both agreed. "All I need you to do is blow really hard until the machine beeps." He explained and held it towards Edward. He complied and I saw him take in a large breath and blow as hard as he could. It was like he was trying to blow up a balloon, if he blew any harder I swear his eyes were gonna pop out of his head. The machine made a loud high pitched beep and the numbers began to flash.

".002" The office read out loud as he turned it around to show us the results. "I wish you would have told me the truth boy because I would have let you go. I will be giving you an underage drinking violation but I'm not going to give you one for loitering, illegal activities or trespassing since you just recently got here to pick up a ride. Driving drunk is very unsafe and a zero tolerance is in order. Who has the keys to this vehicle?"

"I do." I muttered and pulled the keys out of my back pocket.

"Ok well I will be right back to give you the citation and explain what you can do to lessen the charge and then once you find your friend you can be on your way." And with he turned back around and walked off to sit for an unmanageable 15 minutes in his squad.

Tears formed and I cried so hard I was unable to breathe. If Charlie even caught wind of this I was dead meat…and if he told Renee…this was not going to be good. One moment I am standing in the cold crying and the next I am in Edwards embrace and he is rubbing my back.

"Shhhh….it's all going to be ok Bella it's just a ticket and we will get you home." He whispered into my hair and rested his cheek on my forehead. I didn't want to do anything but get home and forget this ever happened, just crawl into my bed and block this all out.

Officer Stallman came back with Edward's ticket explained what he could do and then he waltzed down to the beach too no doubt would he be able to fill up his ticket book tonight. I stood there with my harms around myself and watched as people tried running into the woods and the flash lights from the cops going in after them. This was much unexpected but it made sense the reservation still had to follow the law and fires on the beach were against the law no matter where you were. I still couldn't believe that tonight of all nights it had to be busted. Edward was such a gentleman he still was rubbing my back even while I was staring off at the scene below folding out in front of us.

"Do you want to go find Angela and just let her know you're going home?" he wondered. I just nodded and willed myself to walk down there. It wasn't too hard to spot Angela she was sitting on one of the logs hanging her head; her parents would not be forgiving her for this, or letting her out of their sight for a very long time.

"Did you get a ticket?" I whispered as I knelt down next to her. She nodded and hung her head even lower.

"You?"

"No."

She shook her head in acknowledgement and wiped her face off. Poor thing knew how much this was going to hurt but she seemed to be ok with it.

"My parents have to come get me though…my Mom freaked on the phone but she didn't wake my Dad so I might get off pretty good."

"What about Jessica?" I asked glancing around the crowed

"As soon as we all saw the cops coming down the beach Jessica took off into the woods so far they haven't hauled her out of there so I'm guessing she got away."

Could this night get any worse? Edward and Angela both got underage tickets and Jessica was running from the cops. I was wrong it would get worse, here came Jake.

"Bella! Are you ok? Did you get a ticket?" Jake asked out of breath from running to me.

"I'm fine." _Why do you care? I hate you too bad I can't tell you to your face or I would Jacob Black!_

"You have to be shook up at least worrying about Charlie finding out." He sighed and pulled me into him. Part of me was thankful he cared and the other horrified to know Edward was standing right there watching this all take place.

"Really I'm fine." I rolled my eyes and tried to pull out of Jake's arms. It was like a death grip. _Let go you big gorilla! _

"Jacob I think Bella really is ok you can let her go now." Edward interjected. Shocked Jake let me go and looked over to Edward like he was about ready to attack. Jake turned his attention back to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I don't know Bells so far it seems that everyone who threw the party is going to get a separate charge for everyone who got a ticket. There is no doubt that when my Dad finds out he's gonna tell Charlie."

"Well I will deal with it then I guess there is nothing I can do about it now. Besides I didn't get a ticket so there's nothing for Charlie to hate me for. At the very least he might not let me see you again but that wouldn't be so bad." _Did I just say that?_

Jake instantly dropped his hands to his sides and retaliated by leaning back, which had to have been a large emotional smack in the face. I really had no control over what I was saying though but it made me feel a hundred times better. He pursed his lips together in a hard line.

"Fine." He turned around and walked off back towards the others leaving me to stand there wondering if I was just a little too harsh.

"Come on Bella let's get you home it's getting late." Edward smiled and took me by the hand. I gladly accepted and walked next to him. I turned around once to just glance back searching for Jake. There he stood by the dulling fire watching me. When he caught me glance at him he just shook his head. This would be the last image of Jake in my memory. Not the funny, laughing, joking Jake that I could turn to, the one I secretly loved. Instead I would remember this night and how I actually was going to be ok without Jake in my life. This was a new chapter in the story of my life.

We got back to Edwards car and he crawled into the passenger seat. I stood there dumbfounded at the whole matter. He got back out laughing and stood there leaning against the roof.

"Are you gonna get in?"

"Yeah but you're in the passenger seat." Was I missing something…

"I can't drive Officer Stallman said so. In turn my girlfriend is now going to have to drive us home." I smiled inside and then cringed.

"But that's a Volvo." I stuttered and pointed at the car

"Come on get in I promise it won't bite."

I eagerly yet concerned got into the driver's seat and shut the door. Carefully putting the key in the ignition I started the car and it came to life with a quiet purr. I looked over all the different gauges and at how complex the dashboard looked compared to my truck.

"Ok put your foot on the break and your hand on the gear shifter." He laughed at how unsteady and unsure I was at this. I complied and gingerly pressed the break in and put my hand where he said. He covered my hand with his. "Depress the button and slide it into D." I knew I had to be blushing; the car itself felt like it was over 80 degrees inside. I followed his every move and no sooner had I started the car it seemed I was driving down the road.

The car ride was kind of quite compared to the entire night but his hand never left mine as we drove back to Forks. It had to have been the most eventful night of my life for sure. I didn't know what was going to happen between Edward and I and I was completely unsure as to where Jake and I stood even as friends. My mind drifted back and forth between subjects until I realized where we were. I slammed on the breaks and skidded to a stop. I looked over at Edward and he looked frightened.

"I'm sorry but I just remembered that I rode with Angela. If I pull up in your car driving no less and Charlie sees he's gonna question me." He nodded understanding where I was coming from.

"How about we switch spots and just before your house I drop you off so you can walk up without being really noticed?" I smiled and hoped inside that would really work. We switched seats and wished the night was not over, at least not with Edward. Everything else could have not happened besides this. Meeting him like this was fate no doubt. He stopped just short of the beginning of my yard and I went to get out.

"Um….Bella…." Edward began

"Yes" I answered and spun back around to look at him

"Can I….I mean you don't have to if you don't want to…..but could I get your number?" He asked shyly and smiled. I nodded and smiled blushing a little. The next part was a little blur; I gave him my number and slowly walked up to the house floating on air. I watched him drive away waving at me and I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. I walked in to the house past Charlie and right into my room. I danced in circles around my room and flopped backwards on my bed. If this was love I was in it was perfect, and the way I had seen it described in books and movies.


End file.
